You might have suspected this since I haven’t written anything more about my pregnancy. I’m sorry to say I had a miscarriage.
When me and Johan was on our first ultrasound the doctor could see the uterus with fetal water but it was empty and our baby was nowhere to be seen. Of course we were devastated. I came to the hospital with the expectation of seeing our baby for the first time and instead found out it had died.
It’s sad to see the selfie we took while sitting in the waiting room full of expectations but at the same time I know we were lucky to find out this way rather than getting a miscarriage at home. At least we were at the hospital and the following days I was able to get very good help and healthcare.
When I found out the baby was gone I took the rest of the day off from work. Me and Johan went to my parents and after crying and feeling pity for myself I followed my mum to the forest to pick lingonberries.
Hanging out in the forest with mum helped and I felt a lot better afterwards.
Throughout all this Johan has defenatly been my rock and I’ve also realised that I have a lot of amazing people in my surrounding ?
My co-workers sent me flowers and many who found out what had happened have shared their stories of miscarriages with me. I’m certainly not alone to go through this!
In the end I’m happy I had already told everyone I was pregnant because if I had not I would not have received this massive support and love…
Since the uterus was still growing and my body had not rejected the fetus and the placenta I had to get medical treatment and help at the hospital a few days later.
I was nervous but it went a lot better than I had expected. The nurses and doctor was very kind and I felt well taken care of. I almost feel more sorry for Johan who took care of me and never left my side. Sometimes it’s easier to be the one who is sick rather than the one beeing worried ?
In the end. Although I’m sad and disappointed I also know that we were lucky to find out this early on in the pregnancy and to get such good medical treatment as I did.
This is a very personal blog post and it was emotional to write but I can’t pretend like nothing and I rather share this with you. Everything isn’t lovely and perfect all the time.